Haiku-off

My father and brother, the Claytons Sweeney, are here with us for a few days. We have had a great time taking them around Rome and sharing with them things that we have learned. Sophie gave a terrific tour of the Baths of Caracalla, and Denis did a great explanation of the interesting things we've learned about the Pantheon (like despite the fact that it says on the front of it "Agrippa made this," Agrippa didn't make it -- Hadrian did; and other even more interesting facts).

Clayt (Jr.) is staying with us, and this morning, inspired by the haikus on our homeschool wall, he composed this haiku about the scene off our terrace:

Rooftop oven racks
Romans watch cooking shows?
Or cook with TV?
CAS, Jr.

When he came back in, he was further inspired to write a couple more haikus about Denis' morning, and Denis then replied. The result was the following exchange. Maybe you can figure out who wrote which parts.

Denis Morning
by Clayton Sweeney, Jr. and Denis Bauerschmidt Sweeney

Chimp child does not eat
Differently directed
Energy won't last.

Chocolate chimp breakfast
Sandwiched apple rosetta
Half eaten, half worn.

Chimp be greatest one.
He pwns at all, everything.
Go super-chimp-guy.

Uncle not inspired
He won't write anymore nonsense
Mom make me eat now.

Uninspired Uncle
Who generates entropy
Cannot focus chimp.

Writer stinks at all
Except the one who writes this,
Stanza 3 and 4.

Bu-a-ha-ha-ha
Chimp child plots uncle's demise.
Uncle lays in wait.

I win cause of arms.
I will bash out your stanzas.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Uncle-allied parents
Give uncle an advantage.
Chimp child must find sock.

No sock? I don't care.
I battle socks or no socks.
I am without fear.

Now we fight again
Fight again at the Forum.
Again I shall win.

Slightly focused chimp
Energy without limit
Venit, me vincit.

Sissy-ful uncle
He runs at the sight of me
Victorious chimp.

The haiku-athon continued through the morning and through the city as we visited the Pantheon, the Roman Forum, and the Colosseum. A selection:

Walking past a ruin
Pantheon, not Parthenon
Squashed bird in the road.
CAS, Jr.

Pigeons peck at bread.
They can never finish it
For they only peck.
DJBS

Italiano
Io mangio, mangio, mangio.
Mi faccio grasso.
CAS, Jr.

The warmth of the stone
Feels good to the hand and touch
On a windy day.
DJBS

Throbbing feet and back
Pizza salves the savage beast.
Chimp not beast, not salved.
CAS, Jr.

Doric, Ionic
Corinthian columnae
Don't fall on my head.
CAS, Jr.

Salivating chimp
A dead enemy smells good.
Chimp boy uncle breath.
CAS, Jr.

Uncle stinks haiku
Chimp is the god of haiku
Who is the winner?
DJBS

You get the idea. In the end, Clayt Sr., also known as Papa/Dad, even joined in:
Now it is my turn
To laugh and cry and speak now.
Two can play this game.
CAS, Sr.

We hope you have enjoyed this literary moment, brought to you by the American Association of English Majors, who remind you how much fun literature can be.

Maureen